duly notedombligoReport 2012-03-07 05:40:37I guess it is a “Dark and Stormy Night” where you are? duly notedombligoReport 2012-03-07 05:40:37I guess it is a “Dark and Stormy Night” where you are? Mature sex whoopsies… duly notedombligoReport 2012-03-07 05:40:37I guess it is a “Dark and Stormy Night” where you are? whoopsies… Cut back on the descriptives a bit.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 00:30:05heyy everybody, i just sat down to write the next installment, after not being able to sleep all night! Cut back on the descriptives a bit.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 00:30:05heyy everybody, i just sat down to write the next installment, after not being able to sleep all night! But as a nit picky point, you jumped between 1st and 3rd person a lot. There’s literary times to do this but rarely in the same chapter or especially paragraph to paragraph.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 08:21:34Haha i do get into the story abit… Cut back on the descriptives a bit.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 00:30:05heyy everybody, i just sat down to write the next installment, after not being able to sleep all night!
