Finally, if you are going to write a sex story, or any story for that matter, make the theme, in this case, the actual sex, take up more than 4 paragraphs. Build up the story a lot more, create foreplay, make details, etc. Mature porn I’m not bagging on you, I’m just saying you’ve got a lot to work on. it was just wam bam thank you mamanonymous readerReport 2013-03-28 21:20:33This had so much potential to be a better story. She’s way too full of herself. …and ‘Cum on my PRETTY face? . . …I gave it a thumbs down. …anonymous readerReport 2013-03-29 04:19:37I liked the story, however, as a writer, there are some things I want to point out for you to improve upon. it was just wam bam thank you mamanonymous readerReport 2013-03-28 21:20:33This had so much potential to be a better story. I find it hard to believe you would be satisfied with this story if you reread it yourself. Finally, if you are going to write a sex story, or any story for that matter,
